


in eclipse with the sun

by vulpexin



Category: DIA (Band), I.O.I (Band), K-pop, NCT (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11323332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulpexin/pseuds/vulpexin
Summary: they are eight years old, huddled together in the living room under a badly made pillow fort that jaehyun claims will provide extra protection from the lightning and monsters outside, when she makes him promise that they'll grow old together. [soulmate!au]





	in eclipse with the sun

**Author's Note:**

>   
> [](http://i.imgur.com/Ko6PBxl.jpg)  
>       [](http://i.imgur.com/Ko6PBxl.jpg)  
>   
>  _"And it wasn't my choice to love you, but mines to leave."_  
>   
> 
> 
>   
> 
> 
>   
>  (crossposted to [AFF](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1263647/in-eclipse-with-the-sun-chaeyeon-jaehyun-crackship-dia-ioi-soulmateau-nct))  
> 

**\+ 1** ; red

They are eight years old, huddled together in the living room under a badly made pillow fort that Jaehyun claims will provide extra protection from the lightning and monsters outside, when she makes him promise that they'll grow old together.

 

“What does that even _mean_?” Jaehyun asks with a wrinkled nose. His voice comes out too loud and she wants to tell him to be quieter but in the background, her parents are arguing again and his voice provides a welcome distraction.

 

“It _means_ that we’ll grow old together,” Chaeyeon uselessly repeats. She studies the frayed blanket that covers them both; when Chaeyeon had first discovered she could see something that _wasn't_ in greyscale, she had gone to search the name of the color by searching through her collection of paint chips. Among the many shades of grey, there were many shades of a color that stood out in a vibrant, unforgiving sort of way, something that was distinctly _not_ grey or black or white. They were crimson, mahogany, all different shades of reds and also some muted, dusty, bright pinks.

 

The reds increased in vibrancy, becoming more saturated every time she looked at Jaehyun. For a moment, she had wondered if that meant Jaehyun was her soulmate but that was _gross_.

 

The blanket, she thinks, is a deep red, sort of a cross between maroon and burgundy. Chaeyeon looks up and huffs when Jaehyun still looks lost. “Let's be friends forever, okay?”

 

She gets on her knees abruptly, almost knocking all the pillows down, and sticks out her pinky expectantly. Jaehyun rolls his eyes but he hooks his pinky around her’s without hesitation anyways. And maybe it's just her imagination but she swears the reds around her grow more vibrant, overshadowing the shades of grey even more.

 

“This is dumb,” Jaehyun suddenly says and she watches with fascination as a faded, pretty pink rises to his cheeks. It’s a fleeting thought, but she wonders if he can see colors as well.

 

(He must be able to though, right?)

 

“ _You’re_ dumb,” she counters childishly. He rolls his eyes. And for a moment, everything feels alright again but then—

 

_“You can't make me love you.”_

 

The sentence, tearily whispered from inside her parent's’ bedroom, still sounds clear even though Chaeyeon hadn't _meant_ to be listening. She brings the blanket up to cover her ears with a strained gasp, fingers clenched around the worn, soft fabric and digging into her palms. It’s no use though; her parents have started arguing in loud voices again.

 

“Chaeyeon,” Jaehyun says quietly, “Let me tell you a story.” He brings her hands down and uncurls her fingers one by one, rubbing the darker pink crescent dents in her palms after he's done. She knows he hates princesses—he's such a typical _boy_ —but he tells her a story about one anyways. The princess, set to be engaged to the prince of a neighboring country, runs away because she hates paperwork and she meets a knight along the way who joins her. And they go on adventures together to find all sorts of treasures and towards the middle, Chaeyeon’s eyes keep closing and her parents’ voices have faded completely. She blearily raises her head from where it was on his shoulder to press her lips against his cheek.

 

The pink lingering in his cheeks turns into a faint red.

 

“Thank you,” she murmurs between a yawn and he relaxes, tension draining out of his shoulders.

 

“We’re friends,” he says as if that explains everything.

 

(They wake up with cramps throughout their bodies but the pillow fort has miraculously stayed put and her parents, while still distant, are on talking terms and Chaeyeon counts that as a good sign.)

  
  
  
  
  
  


**\+ 2** ; yellow

When Jaehyun opens the door this morning, he doesn’t expect to see Chaeyeon standing there. But she _is_ and he has to rub his eyes to make sure he’s not hallucinating as she ducks under his arm to enter his house.

 

“You’re going to be late to school,” Chaeyeon says as she sits down on a couch and surveys his appearance. He’s still dressed in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, his hair is a mess and he’s holding a toothbrush.

 

Jaehyun stares at her blankly. She’s also dressed casually; she’s wearing a pretty, floral dress that ends well above her thigh and has risen even higher as she moves to get comfortable on the couch. He swallows and looks away. She’s pretty ( _very_ pretty) but she’s definitely not wearing their school uniform either. “So are you,” he responds belatedly.

 

“We’re both going to be late,” Chaeyeon muses. A moment of silence, then: “We might as well skip class then.”

 

“What?”

 

“Your parents aren’t here right?” She’s leaning against the back of the couch now, head craned so that she can watch him close the door. “They won’t know that you missed a day. And it’s just high school.”

 

Jaehyun studies her face and Chaeyeon tilts her chin up defiantly even when she knows he can see right through her. “Alright,” Jaehyun agrees easily and it’s dumb how _this_ is what makes her eyes dampen. She dabs at the corners of her eyes as he turns around and heads into his bathroom. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“Just . . .” she trails off. Thinks about waking up, getting ready and heading downstairs to see her parents ignoring each other in a frosty silence. The silence had been so stifling that she had almost been glad when her mom broke it, but then it resulted in her dad responding in a way that made it so that they started arguing _again._ “My parents aren’t happy with each other,” she finishes as Jaehyun walks back into the living room wearing jeans and a shirt that _flickers_ to a soft color that’s distinctively not red or a shade of grey. It reminds her of happiness, of sunny days and vast flower fields. She stares a heartbeat too long and flushes when Jaehyun gives her a questioning look laced with something that looks a lot like sympathy. She can’t help but grow defensive. “They love each other though,” she says abruptly and stares at her hands. “They’ll get through this.”

 

(Even so, deep inside, she wonders if love between two people is enough when there’s someone out there that’s meant to be your other half.)

 

“I believe you.”

 

She glances up at him and takes a deep breath. “Come on,” she says, forcing herself to smile. “Yuna and Dokyeom are joining us.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“They’re soulmates, you know.”

 

Jaehyun glances at Chaeyeon, jaw dropping and shock painted across his face and Chaeyeon feels her lips tugging up. “Close your mouth,” she scolds half-heartedly. “It’s unattractive.”

 

“Since _when_?” he splutters.

 

“Since forever,” she responds. “Nobody looks good with their mouths open like that.”

 

“I meant Yuna and Dokyeom.” He sounds exasperated but there’s a fond smile playing on his lips.

 

She glances at the couple ahead of them. The sun is setting—they’ve been out all day eating food and just hanging out. From this angle, it looks Yuna and Dokyeom are just silhouettes, glowing and ethereal with the sunset as their backdrop. She has to bite back a smile when she sees Dokyeom hesitantly glance over at Yuna before tentatively grabbing her hand. “Just a few days ago. That’s why we’re here.”

 

“Yuna and Dokyeom chose to ditch school to go on a date instead of just waiting for the weekend?”

 

“Well, Yuna wanted backup just in case if it was awkward and _my_ condition was that it was today,” Chaeyeon reluctantly says. She tries her best not to think about her parents. He seems to notice the melancholy tone in her voice and drapes his arm around her shoulders, drawing her close.

 

“So does that mean we’re technically on a date?” he teases her. “You didn’t have to pretend that you’re just doing it for Yuna.”

 

She shoves him, pouting when he laughs and prays that the heat suddenly rising up to her cheeks doesn’t translate to her face turning red. Or grey. She’s actually not sure if he can see colors. She tilts her head, studying him closely and the words slip out of her mouth before she can process it: “Can you see colors?”

 

“W-What?”

 

He looks flustered and she can’t blame him; seeing colors is a personal thing and it’s basically an unspoken rule that asking other people if they can see colors, if they’ve found their soulmates, is rude. Now, she’s positive that she’s blushing but she doesn’t back down. There’s no point in taking it back anyways now that she’s said it.

 

“Not yet,” Jaehyun eventually says and there’s a strange look in his eyes as he continues, “but I don’t think that people can’t fall in love without being soulmates. Like fate shouldn’t be the only thing decide whether or not people can get together. If two people fall in love, then they’re in love. It’s as simple as that.”

 

“Maybe.” She knows she sounds hesitant and this is something that they’ve always disagreed on but Jaehyun doesn’t push it any further, choosing to stare at Yuna and Dokyeom’s backs instead.

 

All he says is, “They’re cute together.” And this time, Chaeyeon picks up the discontent lingering in his tone so she loops her arm around his and says, “But if we were a couple, we’d look cuter right?”

 

It doesn’t mean anything when her heart skips a beat at the sound of his laughter. And it certainty doesn’t mean anything when Jaehyun’s hand eventually find her’s. Yuna glances back, still outlined in what Chaeyeon will later recognize as a soft gold, and Chaeyeon supposes she looks dumb shielding her eyes from a vibrancy most people can't experience. Jaehyun doesn't seem to mind, only holding her hand tighter.

 

It’s totally impulsive, okay, and it’s a hundred percent platonic when she rises to her toes and kisses him on the cheek. “Thanks for being a great friend,” she says.

 

And if her heart is fluttering afterwards, if her cheeks are stained pink, well, Chaeyeon blames it on his blinding smile.

 

(Soulmates, huh. She’s fine with waiting.)

  
  
  
  
  
  


**\+ 3** ; green

When she comes to, the first thing she notices is the familiar, warm back she's curled around and the arms wrapped around her legs. The second thing she recognizes is the irate, low murmur.

 

“Jaehyun?” she slurs against his neck. She feels him tense up beneath her. “Why am I on your back?”

 

“Seriously, Chaeyeon?” he snaps at her and she flinches, suddenly wide awake and all to aware of her surroundings. It's late at night and she can barely make anything out; everything is monochrome except for the dark gold of Jaehyun’s hoodie. “Why the fuck were you getting so wasted at Chanyeol’s party?”

 

“We’re in college already,” she snaps, voice coming out a lot more bitter than she expected. “I think I know how to take care of myself. Let me down.” She can almost _see_ him frowning. “Let me _down.”_ Her voice breaks and she pushes at him roughly so that he loses his grip on her. She slides off, almost tumbling to the ground in the process, and immediately regrets her decision as her head pounds and her vision goes out of focus.

 

“ _Chaeyeon_!”

 

Jaehyun steadies her before she can fall to the ground. She clings to him, hands gripping the soft material of his hoodie tightly, and closes her eyes.

 

Something wet drops on his neck.

 

“Are you crying?” Jaehyun asks, his voice a mixture of sounding incredulous and concerned. He gently pries her fingers off his collar and holds her hands instead. He leans back enough to study her face and she doesn't bother suppressing the urge to hide; they've known each other for so long anyways and he knows about all the little quirks she has.

 

“He broke up with me a week ago,” Chaeyeon blurts out and her vision blurs again. She notices her surroundings for the first time and flinches; Chanyeol’s party was located at a frat house in the woods. Everything seems scarier when it’s dark. “He said we'd never work out.”

 

“Mingyu did?” Jaehyun says. She watches as the corner of his lips turn down ever so slightly—a sign that he was confused or upset—and though it's fleeting, she sees a question cross his face: _why didn't you tell me?_ “I thought,” he falters and then looks away briefly. When he speaks again, he sounds slightly off. “I thought you two were in it for the long run.”

 

Here's the thing: she had thought so too. Mingyu’s not her soulmate and she’s not his but when Mingyu had shyly asked her out, she found herself saying yes. (Plus, a small voice inside her head would always remind her, Jaehyun had been dating someone at the time and he was in earshot with his girlfriend when Mingyu had asked and she was _jealous_ , okay?) But Chaeyeon had grown to genuinely like Mingyu and they had stayed together for all of their freshman year of college and for the better part of their sophomore year and for the first time, she found herself wondering if Jaehyun was right, that two people could make it despite not being soulmates.

 

And then Mingyu had broken up with her.

 

They were good together but Mingyu had found his _soulmate._ That was the only explanation he gave and she hated that it was enough of a reason for him to decide that she wasn’t enough.

 

“I thought so too,” Chaeyeon says and angrily wipes away a tear. She hates feeling this vulnerable. Why is she never enough? Despite being Chaeyeon being her daughter, her mother had run away regardless, leaving behind a note with an insincere apology and her heartbroken father. Despite Mingyu claiming to love her, he too had left her in the end the moment he had found out who his soulmate was.

 

Jaehyun draws her into his arms and she rests her head on his shoulder. She feels _drained_. Her body feels oddly heavy and a dull throbbing resonates throughout her head. She fixes on gaze on the trees that surround them, a dark color that, in the night, resembles grey but with an added depth that comforts her.

 

Her breathing slows.

 

“You’re going to be okay,” Jaehyun murmurs soothingly, as if it’s a fact, and she finds herself believing him. Her eyes flutter shut. She barely registers the light pressure on the side of her head and perhaps she should be more concerned about standing in the middle of nowhere so late at night. But Jaehyun is here and everything feels okay with him around.

 

It always has.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**\+ 4** ; blue

She can't pinpoint exactly _when_ it happens but suddenly, she notices how Jaehyun always lingers after hugging her, how his hand naturally ends up locked with hers as they're walking in public, how sometimes, she'll find his eyes drifting to her lips before he looks away guiltily.

 

The worst part is that she's all too aware how her heart quickens whenever he touches her, how she wonders how it'd feel like to run her hand through his hair, how when she catches him staring at her, sometimes all she wants to do is lean forwards and close the space between them.

 

The way he confesses to her is so clichè—they're hanging out by the sea during vacation when it starts to rain and when they find shelter under an awning, stumbling and laughing, he tells her that he _likes_ her.

 

And at the moment, her heart had been full of affection as he spoke earnestly, fingers playing with the corners of his towel that lightened into a color she’ll later recognize as sky blue. She felt warm despite the chilly breeze and it felt like everything was falling into place before:

 

“—and I know that you've always been hoping for your soulmate but you _know_ that it doesn't matter as much to me and if you want to try—”

 

Wait.

 

She doesn't realize she's said it out loud until she finally registers how Jaehyun has stopped rambling, eyes curious but still hopeful.

 

“Wait,” she repeats and every single warm feeling immediately evaporates, leaving her feeling incredibly cold. She tugs her towel around her tighter. “Y-You can't see colors?”

 

Something in her breaks when he nods slowly.

 

“You know my stance on this though,” he speaks up. “I don't think you have to end up with your soulmate to be happy and I really _like_ you—”

 

She stares at him blankly, trying to wrap her mind around how she could _see_ colors and was positive that he was her soulmate—but he apparently wasn't hers. It's rare, but not impossible, she knows, to have a soulmate who's not yours or to have no soulmate at all. But she had just assumed that he'd eventually see his world come to life like she did and she had kept quietly waiting; after all, different people had different triggers for making the colors appear.

 

“But we wouldn't work out,” she blurts out. He recoils, hurt flashing in his eyes. She has to suppress the guilt that rises. “Jaehyun, you have somebody waiting for you out there and . . .” _that person isn’t me._

 

“There's no guarantee that I'll ever meet them or that it'll ever work out with them but with _you_ , I know that we could be good together.” He swallows. “Don’t you think that we deserve to at least _try_?”

 

It’s a fleeting, selfish thought but she wonders if he could be right. After all, he’s _her_ soulmate, right? Even if she wasn’t his, maybe they could work things out. But then she thinks about her parents and how, despite leading a happy life for a while even though they weren’t soulmates, they had eventually fallen apart when her mom discovered her other half. And Mingyu hadn’t even _known_ his soulmate before he decided to break up with Chaeyeon; he had just known that the cute girl in his English class made his whole world light up in hues and tints of colors, and he decided it didn’t matter that they were strangers because they were destined to fall in love.

 

“And then what if you find your soulmate?” Chaeyeon asks. Her heart sinks down to her stomach. “Are you just going to cut off all ties with your soulmate? Or are you going to get rid of me?”

 

She knows that what she feels for him is anything but platonic and she knows Jaehyun is being genuine but in the end, it won’t matter, will it? He’s going to find his soulmate, have his world light up and it’s not going to be because of her. Chaeyeon thinks that's what hurts the most; that she sees him in beautiful technicolor but all he sees is monochrome.

 

Jaehyun’s protesting but Chaeyeon has already convinced herself that he’s eventually going to break her heart. If she’s going to have her heart broken, though, she’d rather break her heart herself.

 

She’s already drawing into herself, walls coming up without realizing it until Jaehyun trails off, hands hanging limply at his side. Guilt twists her stomach at his hurt look but their ending has already been decided for them since the start.

 

“Jaehyun,” she says sadly as she reaches up to press a kiss to his cheek. When she steps back, she’s looking everywhere but him; she chooses to focus on the sky, a pale blue that almost seems to blend in with the clouds and the sea, a greenish blue that’s tinged grey. “I hope you'll find your soulmate soon.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**±** **??** ; orange

It’s been a week since Jaehyun confessed and even though she was the one who forced him to promise they’d stay friends, stay just like how they were before, Chaeyeon can’t bring herself to sit next to him during their shared classes like how she used to.

 

There’s this hollow, longing feeling that rises in her chest every time she sees him; she’s always reminded of the _what ifs_ and how she let him fall without catching him at the other end. It _hurts_ knowing that they could have been something more and it hurts even more to feel him drifting apart especially since the reason for their split is her.

 

Yuna is saying something next to her but Chaeyeon can't hear anything, too distracted by Jaehyun walking into the lecture hall. Their eyes meet and for a split second, the urge to call him over overwhelms her. She digs her nails into her palms and looks away.

 

When she looks back, he's sitting to the left a few rows ahead of her, shoulders tense and head tilted down.

 

Everyone falls silent as the professor comes in, already talking about the today’s lesson. Chaeyeon goes to grab her notebook out of her backpack when she hears a loud _thud_.

 

“Oh my god,” a feminine voice says in English. “I'm so sorry,” she continues in Korean. “I was just lost so that's why I'm so late and I didn’t mean to close the door so loudly. Um, I'll just go find a seat—”

 

“Your first time here?” The professor just responds, seemingly delighted with a fluent English speaker. “Why don't you introduce yourself?”

 

Chaeyeon glances up and blinks. The girl—she's very pretty, curvy despite her thin build—but her _hair_ . . . it flickers between a bright fiery orange to a dull orange, reminiscent of a sunset just before the sky turns black.

 

“Hello,” the girl greets sweetly. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jaehyun staring, eyebrows furrowed and mouth set in a way that tells Chaeyeon he’s trying to figure something out. “I'm Rose.”

 

There's this uneasy feeling that spreads throughout her, settling in her bones and numbing her mind and it intensifies as Rose takes an empty seat next to Jaehyun. He doesn't look over, not at first, not even as Rose fumbles through her backpack looking for something with a frantic look on her face.

 

Rose sneaks a hesitant look at Jaehyun, once, twice, and then she takes a deep breath, hand moving to tuck a loose strand of faded orange hair behind her ear before reaching out, a question already written all over her face.

 

When her fingers brush his shoulder, Chaeyeon’s world turns to grey.

 

**Author's Note:**

> title & inspiration from lang leav's "memories":
> 
> And it wasn’t my choice to love you but it was mines to leave. I don’t think the moon ever meant to be a satellite, kept in a loving orbit, locked in a hopeless inertia, destined to repeat the same pattern over and over—to meet in eclipse with the sun—only when the numbers allowed.


End file.
